Never Trust...

Never trust anybody who only drinks Vodka

Never trust people who have a mono brow

Never trust people whose eyebrows are a different colour from their hair

Never trust politicians (particularly when speaking)

Never trust anybody who gives you a “vote of confidence”

Never trust anybody who doesn’t like garlic – they may be a vampire

Never trust a naked chef

Never trust a woman who says, your boyfriend is fit, to everybody but you

Never trust a big dog with a toothy grin

Never trust the woman who wants to climb the corporate ladder in record time - she's probably sleeping with your boyfriend

Never trust those who blame everything on their computer

Never trust a pension advisor

Never trust a plumber who wants paying in CASH

Never trust Simon Cowell

Never trust a psychologist

Never trust anybody who tries to palm something off on you for free

Never trust a spider, particularly if it is in your bedroom as you are about to go to sleep

Never trust a new car salesman

Never trust a second hand car salesman

Never trust a hairdresser with brightly coloured hair

Never trust a vampire who asks you out for a drink when it's a full moon

Never trust a your boss when she says “Have you got a minute?” at 4pm on a Friday afternoon

Never trust a celebrity who has to go on a reality TV show

Never trust a fat personal trainer

Never trust a guy who wants to buy you a double vodka on your hen night

Never trust a smiling traffic warden

Never trust anybody who says “trust me – I know what I’m doing

Never trust weathermen

Never trust anybody who insists on giving themselves a pretentious job title (e.g. a painter who calls himself a “Colour Distribution Technician”)

Never trust a wasp – it WILL sting you. Kill it!

Never trust an email that offers anything free

Never trust an alcoholic to look after your vodka whilst you visit the ladies

Never trust anyone who's been in 'X'factor audition

Never trust anybody who has a double-barrelled surname like “Garstang-Mills”

Never trust a woman whose name is pronounced differently from the spelling (for example Smith and she insists her name is “Smythe”

Never trust a person whose flat screen TV is bigger than their lounge

Never trust a decorator who tries you tell you the 'in' colour is 'Beige' - He's trying you fob you off with a job lott.

Never trust someone who smiles when they're telling your their cat died

Never trust an estate agent

Never trust a smiling crocodile

Never trust a child who's holding a paintbrush

Never trust a person who uses buz words like “The elephant in the corner”

Never trust what a guy says after three bottles of Becks

Never trust a woman who's had liposuction when she insists 'You look fab in that dress'

Never trust a guy who can't look you in the eye when he says he's sorry

Never trust anything you read in 'The Sun'

Never trust a woman who begins a sentence with “I’m not being funny but …”

Never trust a woman who has a new boyfriend every couple of months

Never trust a guy who has a new car every couple of months

Never trust your eyes when you have'nt put your contacts in

Never trust a madman who's holding a knife

Never trust a cat - It will scratch you!

Never trust Homer Simpson

Never trust a man that wears make-up

Never trust a shark

Never trust your boss - they're always looking for someone, smarter, prettier and who works for less!

Always trust yourself